My daughter was alienated from me, what do I do? Or is it even parental alienation?
Many parents describe it as being trapped in "alienation hell." You feel helpless, frustrated and heartbroken.
There sadly is a considerable amount of misinformation out there. Contrary to what many people believe, parental alienation is not some kind of pseudo concept that should not be taken seriously, or only a strategy abusive fathers use to re-gain access to their kids.
“Parental alienation is real, definable, and toxic. In severe cases, it is so malignant that it can undermine a child’s psychological development. It is not hyperbole to say it can be catastrophic”
(April 7, 2022Alan D. Blotcky, PhD, William Bernet, MD, Article in Psychiatric Times 1)
As a coach with years of experience, I have guided and helped countless alienated fathers, mothers and stepmothers on their journey. Some of them were alienated as children and now, are going through the same with their kids. I understand the unique challenges fathers face when dealing with this highly time-sensitive issue and I know, that trying to solve the issue without help is extremely difficult and too hard for the vast majority of parents. Parental alienation can be very difficult to live with and recover from.
One of the first things I learned, is that early action is crucial to prevent the situation from getting worse. Unfortunately, most fathers are not familiar with the early signs of alienation nor do they have the ability to address them in a practical way.
With the right strategy and support, you can reconnect with your child and even rebuild your relationship. In severe cases where reunification isn’t possible short term, it is essential for fathers to learn how to live with this issue and navigate the situation, protecting their mental health, emotions, family, etc.
Here's one thing you need to know:
Parental alienation is a form of child abuse. And it's not just damaging to your daughter's or son’s mental health, but also to yours. That's why getting specific guidance and active support is essential and a real game changer.
“(…) the psychological consequences for children subjected to parental alienating behaviours are clear, with both negative immediate and long-term effects. These include self-esteem issues, anxiety, depression, substance use, increased suicidality, school-related difficulties, and a greater risk of being alienated from their children in the future. Children exposed to parental alienating behaviours may develop a confused sense of self-perception and fail to remember how to trust their perceptions and feelings, resulting in an uncertain identity, lack of self-esteem, and deep insecurity. (Suzanne Verhaar, Mandy Louise Matthewson,, and Caitlin Bentley 2).
Another important piece of information many parents are not aware of (ignoring this one can cause you not only to lose money and time long the way but to make matters worse), is that the assumption that every therapist or counselor will be able to help you with parental alienation, is untrue.
Being a coach specialized in helping fathers on this journey of navigating parental alienation, I have worked with fathers and stepmothers who were psychotherapists themselves, or had a degree in psychology. The number counselors and therapists who reach out to me openly admitting that parental alienation is a foreign concept to them, or that they lack the necessary knowledge and experience to help their clients, increases each year.
Every parent out there should be aware of the fact that mental health professionals such as psychologists or counselors, do not necessarily know how to spot parental alienation or help their clients who are being alienated from their children.
If seeking help from a therapist or counselor is your goal, then you should make sure that the professional you pick is experienced with parental alienation cases and has the tools to assist you.
Good news is, you don't have to go through this alone. With special help, you can get the tools you need to deal more effectively with your situation. Feeling more confident in your actions, understanding your daughter's perspective, improving your communication with her, and having strategies that actually work will make a big difference.
Whether you've tried to reconnect in the past or this is your first time looking for specialized assistance to deal more effectively with parental alienation, I invite you to book a first consultation with me. During our conversation, I will be able to ask you important questions, we'll discuss your personal situation and find the best strategy for you.
It's a chance to get some clarity, direction, and peace of mind.
Don't let alienation destroy your relationship with your daughter. Take action now and book your consultation HERE.
Here are a few facts most fathers are not familiar with when it comes to parental alienation:
A father can still be living with his wife and daughters under the same roof, while alienation is already at play.
To reconnect with an alienated daughter can be difficult, but not impossible with the right strategy.
Nobody is prepared for alienation, that’s why dealing with it becomes so hard for the father.
Protecting your current marriage or relationship when parental alienation is happening, is absolutely necessary to prevent further damage.
Many fathers react too late, because they do not think the mother of their children capable of harming them in this way.
Parental alienation can of course happen to mothers too. It is just as wrong.
To rebuild a damaged father-daughter relationship is a journey many fathers cannot take by themselves. That’s why getting some special help might be absolutely necessary if you try to reach out to your alienated daughter or daughters again (to find out what you need, please contact us).
I want you to know, that It is normal to feel totally clueless about what to do.
It is normal to feel overwhelmed by the situation.
It is only natural to be scared to make the wrong moves, or to be pushing your daughter even more far away from you.
It is absolutely normal not to know how your daughter really feels.
It is natural for alienated fathers not to be fully aware, of their daughters thoughts and her perspective.
No matter if you already tried to reconnect with your daughter in the past, or if this is the first time you are looking for assistance, having a conversation can be very helpful. You can book a consultation HERE.
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